Suicide. (A short story)

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Death…

The only thing in my mind.

The fifth floor, the bridge, the highway, the chair, the knife.

This bench felt cold, to me. The scenery was horrible, to me.

People was rushing around, doing their own stuff.

Along the bench was a homeless guy. With nothing but an empty bottle of wine, a small dog statue, and a pair of keys. I stared him for couple of minutes, wondering, thinking.

Seeing me in despair, he came closer. I offered him one of my canned drinks. He took it. Open it and started to drink slowly.

He’s still there, sitting there, doing nothing. We was surrounded in silence but it was nice. To have a friend, or just a stranger to company me.

Then…

Words started to came out of his mouth.

“If you even wonder why do I have these things”
He point his fingers toward his dog statue, empty bottle and the keys.

“I was once a guy with name, wealth and fame”

I wasn’t really paying attention but somehow I felt that I got to hear this one.

“I was once a guy who live with money, and gold”

“One day, I was thinking on how to kill myself”

Sitting on the bench was pleasant but hearing someone death plan was rather shocking and yet I’m still listening.

“I sat on a bench and thought about the fifth floor, the bridge, the highway, the chair, the knife.”

“At that point, I was ready to leave everything, my money, my family, and my fame, I was ready to lock the universe behind me and leave it silently, peacefully”

“Then, there’s this guy who was sitting beside me all the time, who happen to have the same thing as I do, started to talk about his life”

“He said that ‘life is not perfect, that what makes it beautiful and yet we still question the purpose of life’. Probably, the purpose of life is the imperfect part. Why do we question beauty if we already knew it was beautiful he said. He took a deep breath and continued. The man said that the answer to life the universe and everything is death.”

“The question of what came first, the egg or the chicken came up. Did death exist because of life? Or Life exist solely because of death.”

“The end and the beginning, the beginning of the end. Nothing is certain, so if our life.
All of us have our bad times and good times. All of us have our own family. All of us have our imperfect part. All of us have our beginning and our ending”

“How it started, it was beautiful. How it ended, you decide it yourself. I just hope that yours ended peacefully.”

“The man stood up and walked away”

“I started thinking about life and everything. Then I noticed that he left 4 things on the bench, a statue of a small dog, pair of keys, bottle of wine, and a note”

“I stood up and look around for the guy, he was nowhere to be found. As if he vanished into thin air”

“I took all his belongings and read the note before moving on”

The guy stopped talking. He stood up and walk away. Suddenly my hand started to move on its own and grab him on the shoulder.

I asked him, what does the note read. He turns around.

“The dog was a remembrance to the life I used to have, the life where I where I used to live. The wine resembles the fame I used to have when I was still alive, when I was still able to drink it. The key resembles the wealth I used to own, the money I used to hold. But I was too weak, so I let it go.”

“But now I remembered that among those things, there’s only one I could ever take back. and it was my life.”

“But since the cycle has continued, I’m left with no choice but to offer it to others.”

I was confused. I turned around to see the man but he has vanished. There’s no one in sight. The surrounding started to darken and heavy mist started to roll. After awhile, a knife was dropped among the three things from the sky.

A man with a hidden face appeared, wearing nothing but a shabby black robe, he whispered into my ears.
“Choose what your heart desires or death shall be chosen for you”

He pull out his arms from his long robe and offered me a bottle of wine on his left hand and a pair of golden keys on his right.

“The fame of a king, the tongue of a ruler”

“or”

“The wealth as big as the distance between heaven and hell”

I slowly move backwards but it was futile as if something were pushing me to choose.
My head started talking.

“Money or Fame”
“Money or Fame”
“Money or Fame”
“Money or Fame”
“Money or Fame”
“why not both….”

The man with the black robe continued.

“So….”
“..You have chosen greed?”
“Then I’ll give you both”

I keep trying say no, but my heart keep denying. With every bit of energy and control I have left.

I shut my eyes and rushed the man in front of me. His body is lighter than I imagined. Suddenly he started to disappear and all I could see is a small statue of a dog.
I grab it and hold it tight.
Tears started to flow out of my eyes. All I could ever think of is my life. My life where there’s a father who worked hard for me. A mother who give her all so I could live easy.

I kept on crying because I have done nothing to please them. Dying here would only bring more tears and misery.

I want this to stop.

“And it shall happen as you wish”
The man appeared again in front of me but this time he was not alone. He was accompanied with people.

“You were given the choice fame and wealth and yet you kept on denying it, you fight for something you didn’t know. It felt lovely isn’t it?”

“That my boy, is life. Keep on fighting…..”

“…and always remember that nothing is more valuable than life”

The group of men started to spin around me, up to a point where I can’t even recognizes their position. Everything started to vanished. Bit by bit.

and now, there’s nothing left.

As I look upon the bright sky, a note fall upon my lap.

“The cycle has been broken. You’re free. Everyone’s free”

Under it there was a scribble writing. It was hard to recognize but it started to take shape as any normal handwriting.

“Thank you”

Somehow I found myself smiling alone.

Thank you. For everything.

– Your life is valuable. Appreciate it.

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