“Hey there. I’m sorry for not visiting you in these past few months. It has been very busy at the office and… ”
“.. Hahaha, shouldn’t have use that as an excuse”
” I brought some flowers, lavender, and your favourite root beer. Aren’t I romantic? ”
“Now, where should I start. Hmm, yes, the wedding…. ”
I talked for a bit and evidently it did took quite some time before I finished. Not that it matters. Here, the sun is just a passerby fixated on its daily schedule. It could be sunny, or rainy, or a well mixed of both, and yet, it would still leave no remarks here. The heat will cool down, the rain will flow, and the snow usually melted well before the day was over. It’ll come and it’ll leave, as if it never happened.
Some would say it’s a boring place. Lifeless more likely. Because it is.
“.. As for him, he married his childhood friend. Yeah, shocking right? … ”
I’d usually ask myself. What am I doing here. I could find a thousand other hobbies to do during my free time and yet I chose to come here. Unfortunately, every time I try, I’d find myself here asking for suggestions.
Time felt as if it hasn’t passed, even though it did, as it always would. Before I knew it, it has been an hour since I came.
The wind hasn’t been blowing but the heat was tolerable. It seems the sun is being generous today.
“… Beetlejuice died for the 250th and final time last Saturday. I messed with the battery a bit but after a few effortless tries, I knew it was too late. I decommissioned it with honour and 25 rounds of the song ‘Blackbird’ by the Beatles. The other were devastated upon hearing the news. ”
Beetlejuice was an old Volkswagen beetle we bought during our college days to get around. It has served the whole squad countless times and for 3 continues, tiring years.
We decided that by graduation we should drive the car towards the edge of a cliff and does a last minute jump before flying off and crashes into the rocks below, exploding into a million pieces.
But, she fell in love with it. We renewed some of the part, repainted the whole thing. Afterwards, it was a beauty. Not that it wasn’t a beauty before, but it has more appeal.
“.. You may already know about this, but our old teacher from high-school is also here. Somewhere…”
High-school. A short, bittersweet experience. High-school was the pinnacle of our teenagers life. A place to gain, lose, share, and to love. Some wished for it to last forever, but time has proven otherwise. Life goes on. Yet, every time the thought comes ringing, yesterday has never felt so close.
She was the flower of our glum trio. The best of friends in success and failures. We held on together from the moment we met till the day we threw our hats off to the world.
As memories fade, the route of which we took become less clearer. We’d wonder, ‘where did it went wrong?’. Something that was so close, thrown into imbalance, and soon broke into pieces millions of miles apart.
Amidst the succession of flashbacks, I thought to myself, ‘He was perfect for her’.
“.. It was supposed to be him…”
“.. And you were supposed to happy.. ”
‘He’ was the missing piece of our trio. I was always an introvert, and she was the complete opposite, but him, he was different. He was the piece that settles the others from breaking apart. He’s the gravity that settles the moon from crashing down to earth. From whatever catastrophe that the universe had prepared for us, he was there all the time.
Again, time played a crucial part in our story. They were in the American faculty and I knew that they had developed feelings for each other. I knew it. From the way they talked, laugh, and how their cheek reddens not from the heat of their own, but from one another. Just like anything that is affected by gravity, all it need was a push. Sadly, I too fell in love with the same woman.
But the heart that beats alone has no power against the ones that beats together.
“… Yet, he was foolish enough to do it.. ”
By the end of September 2015, he, the man who was known for his calmness, humour, and integrity, was found dead in his room.
It was suicide.
For whatever reason, what he did was wrong.
The funeral was held on a cold, winter day, and was visited by all if not most of his closest friends. But she never came. It was too painful for her.
I was selfish, thinking I would have a chance now, but I knew she’d always choose him over me, even in a world he no longer existed, she would always choose him.
I cried but I wasn’t sure whether it was for him, or for the fact that I lost both, my friend, and the woman I love.
“… It’s getting late… ”
I fiddled a small box within the palms of my hand, hesitating. I wanted to push myself even if it was too late. Even if there’s no longer hope for me.
” Remember when you said that there’s always a time for everything? Sadly I never found mine… ”
“… I’ve always been the weakest one from the start yet I never thought I’d see myself as the last one.”
” And before my time is over, I’d like to share a few things.
I, have always been in love with you. My shy demeanour hid most of it but every time I found myself staring at you, my insides flutters, my mind went crazy, and my heart skipped a beat. I lust over your attention and every time you told him about your day, I was always there, listening as if there was no sound that pierces my hearing except yours.
But I know you too well. What could I do, he was always the better man.”
I opened the box, revealing a small ring inside, held firmly in between the cushions. The simplicity of the ring was not a sign of its shortcoming rather it’s a way for all of the attentions to be paid fully towards the diamond that reflects perfectly for its size.
“I never knew what your size was, so it could be a little big”
I placed the ring softly on the ground as I caress the headstone. My heart aches and my eyes started to wear me down but it was her own wish to see that no one would cry again and as a friend, it was my duty to uphold the wish.
“If somehow fate brought us together in the next lifetime, would you be mine? “