I’m back for a while

Hello everyone
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As you might have noticed. I am back. (for the meantime)

School is really giving me a hard time lately therefore I was unable to continue my story or create any poems or anything. To be honest I was unable to write anything for the past few days.

My schedule is filled with home works and my brain is having brain damage because too many things to remember at once. I got physic, biology, chemistry, additional mathematics and many more. -_-‘

Again, I apologize because unable to write anything for you to read. 🙂

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Regret ( A short Story )

When I think of him, I’m still filled with a profound sense of loss and regret. His face, his eyes, his voice now is just another memory that will last forever.

1939, May 21st, the day where it all started, the day I first met him. He was a new student at my school. We were actually classmate to be honest but that is the first day I ever laid my eyes on him. There he was standing near the bus stop in his school uniform, talking, joking around with his friends. The place was crowded with people but he is the only one I could put my eyes on. I’m stuck in my own world where there is only two of us in it. No words came out of his mouth, neither do mine. It’s just me starring him for hours until he leave. His name was Kei, just Kei. You might say I’m an idiot for having a crush over someone who I didn’t even know his full name but I was shy back then. Every time a fellow classmate mentioned his name, I would turn my head just to turn my attention to what they was talking about. Sometime I would lose myself in my own delusions where I’m brave enough to talked to him. How pathetic. Every single day I wish he would feel the same way.

1939, June 1st, something delightful happened. He talked to me for the first time. Even though it was just a normal greeting but it is still considered as a conversation isn’t? Somehow he is talking to me more frequently than before. He must have noticed me starring him from a distance every day. Argh! Stupid me. Now I have to hide my face every time I talked to him. Every word, every sentence I want to say always came out the other way around. I’m such an idiot! Seeing my weird behavior, He would always apologize for not able to hold himself from laughing. However, all is
not lost since I was able to get used to it.

Everyday, we would talk about things that sound completely ridiculous for a normal person. Such as ‘why did the chicken cross the road?’ or ‘why did superman wear his underwear on the outside?’ and those conversation would last for hours but it was not enough. I wanted to talk more, I want to know more about him. I don’t know why, probably I am just shy.

1939, December 31th, the end of the year is probably the most busiest moment for everyone, literally. Everyone is searching for their ‘date’ for the upcoming end year festival which I think is just stupid. Can’t a boy and a girl go there just as friends? The festival will be held every year and people from all over the country would come and celebrate it like there’s no tomorrow. Kei, on the other hand wasn’t bothered by it despite the ten love letter on his desk. There’s a rumor that those letters were sent by 10 of the most popular girls in school. What chances do I have against them? I should probably just give up.

December 31, around 12 pm. While others are holding hands, under the bright night of December, waiting for the fireworks to show it’s beauty, I was at home  studying. I wasn’t alone though, some of my friends also called and invited me to their houses to celebrate the new year together but I was to busy making myself busy. The next day, everyone was talking about their romantic night and how the beautiful the fireworks were. I wish I can shut them up once and for all. Kei greeted me from behind, asking how my new year was. I couldn’t help but tell everything, when I said everything I mean it. Surprisingly, he told me that he also didn’t went to the festival. It seems he was waiting for a specific girl to invite him. I was happy and disappointed at the same time. Looks like he already has someone in his heart.

1940, April 2nd. I has been evading Kei for almost 3 months and something inside me is dying. Why can’t I stop thinking about him!? I’m such a loser! Lord please put me out of this misery. Even though I was evading him but every time I sat upon the concrete bench on the bus stop, I would look around for him but he was nowhere to be found. I was worried if anything had happened to him. The next day, I asked all the teachers if they knew anything about him. None have the answer, I was devastated. My heart beat faster as I ran across the classroom searching for answers but to no avail.

1940, April 14th. It has been weeks since I seen or heard about Kei. I’m out of tears to be shed. I couldn’t help but to hold the guilt inside me for ignoring him. One of our teachers was absent today and the class was a complete madhouse, but something manage to catch my attention. According to one of my classmate, they saw Kei and his family in the teacher’s lounge. Before they can finish their sentence, I was on my way to the teacher’s lounge. Some of the stairs were packed with human blockade but that doesn’t stop me from rushing through it like a speeding train. When I arrived, I quickly slam the door open. I shouted his name with all my might just for him to noticed me but what I saw shocked me.

The boy who was sitting on one of the teacher’s chair was Kei but at the same time it was also someone else. His face is now pale white, his lips was so dry that I could noticed it from a distance, his body show’s no energy what so ever as if he was lifeless. He greeted me and I could hear the pain and suffering in his voice. I was stunned, unable to say a word or do anything. One of the teachers pulled me outside and explained everything.

Kei was suffering from Leukemia, a type of cancer of the blood. The teacher said that he was diagnosed with it since he was 10 and there’s only a small chance of him surviving. But his will to live was able to postponed the disease from worsen, giving him another 8 years to live. Few weeks ago, the doctors announced that he was in a chronic condition and has to be hospitalized. He manage to convince the doctors to let him out for one day before going back into the intensive-care unit.

Knowing what was happening all along, I couldn’t hold my tears from falling. Who knew a kid who was full of life, full of energy was silently fighting a disease that couldn’t be cured back then. I was crying my heart out when suddenly a voice, begged me to stop. As I rises my head, there he was, standing in front of me, running his thumb across my cheek, wiping the tears that has fallen from my eyes. He embraces me with everything he got left and whispered to my ears.

” If there’s a chance in the near future..” he was breathing heavily and he would pause to take a short breath for every word.  “Would you like to go to the festival with me?..” I was sucked into a never ending sadness as those words came out of his mouth. My eyes was closed but my heart weeps silently. “Yes, I would love to” I replied. Nothing could express the way I felt that day. I feel like being revived from the dead just to get killed again. He was struggling just to stand but something kept him from falling. That day, I was given all the time to talked to him. I couldn’t help but to continue our not so normal conversation. He was laughing but it’s not how it used to. I wish I could help him.

1940, July 25th. It was the day he breathed his last breath out, and that was the end of an innocent life.

I still remember his final words to me.

” Sometimes I would stare you from behind and stuck in a world where there’s only two of us in this world. How I wish I has the verbal power to say what was hidden in my heart. Probably, I am just shy”

Dozing off in school and other things in mind.

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Greetings,

This is probably the fourth post about sleeping. -_-

Anyway, today i found myself dozing off in class. It’s not something unusual really. ( I do it every time )
It’s not the teacher’s fault that they sometimes teach things in a boring way. Sometimes it’s just me. Yesterday I fell asleep around 3 am. My school starts at 6 : 45 am. Few hours of sleep is not enough for me.

Since, I can only go online on weekends so I can’t update this blog all the time. 😦

Check List :
 
– Story                                    ( Chapter 4 is on the way )

– Homework                                  ( On the way? )

– Prepare things for exam         ( Under Progress )

A Haircut.

Quick post. Few hours back, I decided to have a haircut. But since it’s the holidays, almost every barber shop was closed. Luckily, there’s this one barber at the corner of the block that was still open. The one I never visit.

I’m usually get my hair cut by someone I’m familiar with. But because of the circumstances, I decided to just make him/her cut my hair and leave. Turns out the hair stylist was a guy. He asked what to do with my hair. I just asked for a normal student haircut. ( The one that follows the school rules and regulations )
You might wonder, what kind of school that has a hair regulation. Well, my kind of school has one.

After 10-15 minutes, it was finished. He just make it short, make it nice, and stylish. The thing is, my school doesn’t like stylish hair. because its too ‘stylish’.

I wasn’t complaining because I like it. But I don’t think my school will like it. There’s only advice that was given.

“If there’s hair inspection, just pull down your hair. Don’t make it stand out. The teacher won’t notice it”

What a day. 🙂

Boring Day.

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Hi everyone,
School Holidays is really boring sometimes. Specially when there’s nothing to do. In order to kill time, my hand started sketching on my math book. ( it was the nearest book near my hand )
As I told few post back, I’m not good at drawing. I always do something 50% nice then the rest of it is pure crap. The most annoying part is when I somehow manage to draw something 99% nice and I found out I have to erase it because I drew it on a work book.
( the one that need to be checked by teachers )

It’s more annoying to know that I can only draw something 1 time. If I try to draw something like that again, it would look like something else. I envy those who has one of those artist hands that can draw anything they see. 😦

Even though I can’t draw that nicely ( not sure what words to use here ) but I’m practicing. They say Practice Makes Perfect. ( I don’t know, never tried it before )

First Try At Poetry.

To the love of my life, I give to thee,
My heart, My soul,
To cherish our memory,

I was nothing more than a friend to thee,
But for me,
You was more than a family,

For years I’ve watched you laughed and cried,
For years I’ve been there by your side,
Oh I wish you could know how long this feeling has reside,
In the depth of my heart which was not in sight

I was probably the last man in line,
But someday I will make you mine,
But that day seems so far behind,
As today, I see you walking down the shrine,
With your white sparkling wedding gown,
To be with your chosen one,
I couldn’t do anything but to hide the frown,

Fifty years have passed, I look down the coffin which belonged to a friend of mine,
How I wish I could reverse the time,
To tell you the things that has been kept inside my mind,
Those 5 words in a single line,
Will you be my valentine,

Chinese New Year~ :)

Hi,

This is going to be short.

For those who celebrate Chinese New Year, I wish all of you a Happy Chinese New Year. May you have a good year filled with prosperity, health and many more.

Since Chinese New Year fall on Sunday, therefore those who doesn’t celebrate Chinese New Year also have day off.

I hope you have a wonderful year ahead 🙂

No Sleep 2

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This is like the third post about sleeping. -_-

I should be sleeping right now but my brain is active at night. Specially if it’s holiday or weekend night. Not sleeping could cause brain damage. So please don’t try this unless you are an owl ( just like me )

So, midnight activities. to tell you the truth, I’m much more lazy in the morning rather than the night. There’s something about the midnight air that fuels my brain to work. Sometime I would lay on my bed just thinking of all the possibilities life could have given me and some of those possibilities is just ridiculous. I also draws stuff at night, write stuff, do stuff, cook and even bathe at the middle of night.

It’s currently 1:00 AM here and I’m the only one who’s still awake. It’s so quiet here even the sound my fingers are already considered as a public disturbance.

It’s funny how I used to love sleeping when I can’t get enough of it. But when I have all the time in the world to sleep, I ended up awake the whole time.

Weird Habit and other things..

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Hi,

Recently, I found myself keep dozing off on any spot I can lay my head. My table during class, the computer table, the bus, the cold concrete floor, and even outside of my house. -_-

Which is troublesome because if I fall asleep inside a bus, I could find my self 300 miles away from my house and my text-book is so heavy that if you throw it to a weighing scale, it would break almost instantly.

On the bright side, we will have a week off. ( yay~ ) Which means… more homework. One of the teachers told us that they were told to give us homework for some unknown reasons.

Anyway, since it’s holiday from this day onward till 18th, I will try to enjoy every bit of it by not sleeping*

* Please don’t do this at home*

Checklist check :

Chapter 3                                      ( Almost done )

Homework                                                   ( No )

Be active on blog                                    ( Probably )

Sightseeing                                             ( Probably )

School in the eyes of a 15 year old

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Hello,

Recently, I have been thinking on how much thing or event I have won in my entire life time and it fascinate me how low it is. For example, the last time I won something was probably when I was 9. Which is a doll i got from one of those crane machines outside the local mall.

Back then I always think that winning is getting on top, getting number 1 and so on and I realized that ‘winning’ is something that I can’t get back then, it’s just a thing I can chase but I will never possess. When I was 12 or so, I decided to lose hope on winning and started having fun. Not fun in a way where I don’t do homework, school work or others. ( even though I do it sometimes )

Then when I got into high school. I saw everybody learning their butts off and I was scared. Because I haven’t learn, study or do research on anything about stuff in school. The day the ‘exaggerated-exam’ was held. I was one of those students who didn’t care and doesn’t want to. When result came out, it was much better than expected.

Putting it in a nutshell, (or what ever shell you prefer) doesn’t mean you study every day, you will get what you want. I also doesn’t mean that if you don’t study you will get what you want.

My point is, don’t study too much, we are not computers, even computers need to rest. The most important is to have fun in everything you do. There was one teacher who told me that, ‘when you learn something in the sake of fun, you will remember it forever’

Junk Food Monday and other things.

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(lunch)

Remember few post back when I said there’s a lot of cook able food but I’m too lazy to cook? Well, I’m pretty much in the same situation again. Luckily, this time I got my piggy bank. :3

I just got to the nearest market and stock up a pile of chips and cheese balls. The original plan was to save up enough food for the whole week but I ended up finishing it all in just a few minutes.

And the worst thing is, after all of that, I am still hungry. 😦

On a completely unrelated subject, My story is finally posted. ( Just the first few chapters )
I know there’s a lot of grammatical error but bear with me, I’m new at this.

May you have a good day everyone~

Frozen Tea.

FRozen DRink
(Guess what is it)

Happy Sunday everyone. Hope your day will be filled with awesomeness.
If you can see the picture above then good for you.

Few hours back, I got one of those boxed drinks and decided to cool it up a bit by putting it in the freezer. I was suppose to take it out few minutes after but somehow I forgot about and left it for 1 whole hour.

I only remembered about it when I was opening the freezer to cool my face. The problem is, it is now frozen solid. So instead of waiting for hours for it to melt. I just open the box and put it inside a plastic mug and start licking it like ice-cream. (not the best ice-cream but not the worst either)

So, checklist check.

– Certain Story Progress                            ( Still on Chapter 3 )

– Finish the frozen tea                                            ( Done )

– Homework                                                            ( Still no )

– Do Movie Review                                                   ( Soon )

The Curse of Homeworks and other things in mind.

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Long time no update. 😦

Hi all, I was so busy these days with school/homework  i totally forgot to update my blog. If you think that’s not good enough for an excuse, imagine this.

You’re the class monitor, every morning you have to check all who are absent or late in your class even though yourself always shows up at school 10 minutes late because someone decide to park their car in the middle of the road. Then, you have to write all the teacher’s name  on a book and ask for their signature to make sure they did what they did. Teach.

During recess, others got 20 minutes while you have only 10 because you have to carries some on the teacher’s belonging back to the teacher’s lounge. ( I don’t know what it is called, just put it there ‘lounge’ ) There will be 200 students racing against each other to get through the door that divide the classroom and the canteen. You might be saying “so what?”. Well, the problem is the ‘door’ was created so small that it enables only 1 student to pass at a time. Which is annoying. After all of that, the teacher decide to be evil and gives you 20 pages of math, 2 pages of essay, probably some question about the world. Wait, that’s not the end of it. Your class also have extra classes which probably end up using all the time you have to relax at home.

Anyway, I’m back and I’ll try to update more frequently.

– Do movie reviews                                                         ( In Progress )

– Do homework                                                                       ( No )

– Certain Story Progress                                      ( Currently on Chapter 3 )

-Buy energy drinks for upcoming
‘midnight project’                                                        ( Out of money )

First Day of School and something else in mind.

2nd of January. While other schools are still hibernating for about a week or so, mine already started. To make things worst I was chosen to become the class monitor. 😦 The thing about class monitor is you have to get the attendance, teacher’s approval, class cleaned, make schedules, and be a good,fair leader.

I’m not good at being the class monitor. I can’t even be good at being a normal student. 😦 We got physics, biology, chemistry to cover in 5 months. My brain can’t handle it. >.<

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(Midnight Project 1)

Since it school night, therefore I can’t do my midnight project anymore. *sad* But I can do it on weekends. I’m not really good at drawing, writing, doing thins according to schedules, following orders, so I’m pretty much a loser in my own life. But I’m still learning.

Success is hard but not impossible. So keep trying till you manage to get to the top.
I’m rooting for you!
Peace 🙂

Happy New Year~

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Happy Holidays everyone! I know I’m late since it’s almost new year and some of you have school to look forward to but enjoy the last few days. 🙂

My school session is starting on the 2nd of January so will I be really busy and will probably skip posting stuff here. But I will try my best.

Few things happened :

Sword Art Online  : Ended ( Waiting for the 2nd Season )

K the Anime          : Ended ( Some say there’s a 2nd Season coming up )

Naruto                   : At the verge of ending. ( Who knows )

My Checklist for the end of the year :

Midnight Project                                    : Just starting

Preparation for school                          : Stalled

 Create my New year’s resolution        : In progress.

Midnight Project is actually just me doing stuff from drawing to writing in the middle of the night. It’s actually because of my inability to sleep well. (-.-‘) So rather than wasting time rolling in bed, I decide to tape the flashlight up my forehead and pull out some paper and start drawing. I’m not good at drawing but stick man is better than nothing.

Preparation. School is just a week away and I still can’t find my bag and my stationary. My books is no where to be found and I have forgotten everything I learn last year.

New Year’s resolution. Man, mine is like half a kilometer long. I don’t know where to start. *sigh*